How stigma makes those grieving even more confused.
Learning to Cope
The pain of loss never fully goes away, we just learn to cope. But coping would probably be easier if we as a society did not stigmatize conversations about death as much as we do. This makes understanding our grief even more difficult than it already is, as this stigma contributes to the loneliness that already comes along with grief.
So, part of coping is about learning to understand why we feel the way we do, because grief doesn't always make sense and people don't talk about it enough, adding to the confusion felt with grief.
Life Without Them
Even the good times to come become tainted because you want to share those moments with them
Avoiding your emotions won't help in the long run, but sometimes it is necessary to cope for a short period of time
The pain doesn’t go away -- you just learn to use it to honour them and continue to live your life
Years later, you still may forget they’re gone for a second before it hits you all over again
Your grief is not something to be fixed; it becomes part of you, and that is okay
Some Things Won’t Make Sense
There won’t always be a trigger before a wave of the pain that is grief hits
Triggers won't always make sense initially
Sometimes you’ll suddenly feel more connected to them and you won’t understand why
You may feel guilt or anger or other strong emotions for no obvious reason
You can understand that your emotions are irrational and still feel them -- it doesn't make your emotions any less valid, it just means that these emotions require resolving
Those Who Don’t Get It, Don’t Get It
People probably won't respond the way you want them to
Grief is an uncomfortable topic for many -- even people with the best of intentions will say the most unhelpful things -- and it is okay to tell people when they are causing more harm than good
You don't have to know what is helpful to tell someone they are being unhelpful
Just because someone else has had a significant loss in their life, doesn't mean they will understand -- we are are all on our own unique paths
What “Normal” Grief Looks Like
There is no "normal" course for grief to take
We all grieve differently -- there is no wrong way to grieve
You don't need closure to be able to heal -- you have to accept that you may not get closure and still work on moving forwards
You may learn a lot about yourself in the grief process
Crying isn't the only way to feel a release of your emotions
Time does not heal all wounds -- the pain may feel just as strong some days years in the future, but that's why we work on our coping strategies
Comments